Archive for May, 2005

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May 30, 2005
2 more days then i will be on my way to the airport for my mission trip. Yup, i’m so excited. My first mission trip and i hope to see God’s glory in thailand. Sorry not hope is will. Last night i suddenly remember that shing yian asked me this question before, ‘Do i like amanda?’. The amanda here is not the 2 in my hall. I was so shocked when i heard this question. Then i asked her on what basis did she come to this conclusion. Well she did not tell me that. So i just wanted to post this question to Amanda out of curiosity. Did i ever give you the feelings or my actions show that i liked you? Haha. What a strange question to ask a gal. Feel like a idiot myself. You can choose not to answer this question of mine. If you do want to answer, can leave the answer at my tagboard, email me or sms me. Anyway this post will be the last before i leave for thailand. So hope you have the chance to read this. Tata all my friends.
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May 29, 2005
My church prayed for me today for my mission trip. Quite glad that i got the blessing of my church to go for it. Most importantly, i believed God has called me for this trip Himself. Another 3 more days, then i will be leaving. I do not think anyone will be coming to send me off. Most probably maybe Jana bah. But unlikely… As for my cell groups, one will be busy and the other i think will be busy too. Actually i do not need anyone to come and send me off. Cause i do not really like this kind of stuff. I only like to send people off. In 1 year, i have sent Jane off twice. Once to China and recently to Japan. I’m glad i have my BFEC cell group as i think that is for my mission calling. For my church cell is more to prepare me and build me up in serving God. Come to think of it, my church cell has not much missionaries. I think the whole church got only me and robin. Lucky God has prepared another cell for me, whereby i will be exposed to more people who are going for mission trips. I’m so thankful to God for everything. And for all the people i met in my life.

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May 28, 2005
I must be losing my memory. Just realised that i forgotten about dotz’s birthday on thursday. So i immediately send out a belated sms. Lately it is really too many meetings so much so i am becoming forgetful. Hope i will not forget to bring the air tickets on wed. Or else…… Will be heading down for cell group later. Hope it will be a fun time of fellowship with God and one another. I do missed sessions on bible study.

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May 26, 2005
My body was physically and mentally drained this morning as i stayed up overnight to watch the Liverpool and AC Milan match. It was a wonderful match as Liverpool scored 3 goals in 6 mins and managed to even go ahead and win the whole game. They were the underdogs of the match and at half time when they were 3-0 down, i believed most of the people have written them off. According to the strength between the 2 teams, it was almost impossible for them to win the game. It really taught me a lesson about life. No matter how comfortable i am now with life, there will be always uncertainties. I will never know what, when, where, why and how misfortune can struck me. I can never be in total control of my life. Some people may agree with me that all we can do is to live our lives to the best each day. Why not hand over all these uncertainties to God and live our lives according to the way He has planned for us. Isn’t it a much better plan or choice rather than depending on ourselves?

I stand in awe of the mighty God. His grace for me today was so fresh and real. Just when i though i will not have the strength and courage to go and do street witnessing. He has given me the power to do so. To really walk up and try to approach a person. Then trying to spread the gospel to him. Come to think of it, i was one of those people who will outright reject those doing street witnessing. Now i am the one doing it and will be doing much more when i am in thailand. Looking back, i think my life has changed quite a lot recently. I have learnt to walk out of my little circle. Not to be troubled by all the stuffs i can’t control. Cause there is this God which i can trust. Life is just so fragil that any moment it will be broken.

Managed to have a small chat with shu shyan today. Found out from her that she has a heart for thailand and maybe thinking of going over to thailand to become a teacher next time. Will not be so soon as her parents are still non christians. Same as me, i was thinking of going to become a missionary. God has put the heart and passion in my heart. It is only where He wants me to be that i am still asking Him. Though sometimes, i feel it is my heart that is refusing to listen. Haha. I believe this is a generation that is seeking after God’s heart. It is a generation which God will be using to do His works on this earth. A generation which will bow our hearts, bend our knees and yield our lives to Him. For we want to see His glory. We want to see Your glory, Oh God of Jacob.

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May 26, 2005
Wheeeee was the word for the day. As i have started my day by going to the clinic for a flu jab but after waiting for like 30mins, the jab has still not arrived. Therefore i have to go back later in the morning for it again. What made things worse was i was late for my mission training because of that. It was partly my fault as i mixed up the starting time for the training. It is all in the mind now in order to survive the whole day later. I’m really tired now. Suddenly i was overwhelmed by the things i have to get. It was like wow…… As usual this will force me to kickstart and getting things done. All my body is fired all for next week trip. So Godspeed to all of us next week.

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May 25, 2005
Help help is in my mind when i woke up in the middle of the night. The left part of my back was feeling very painful so much so that i cannot move my left hand and neck freely. Everytime i try to move a bit, i can feel the pain on my back. The reason i still can’t think of any at the moment. But it is going to restrict my movement for quite so time. Later at 2pm i will be having my Jabs again. Since i cannot move my left arm now, so i might as well take the jabs on the left. At least i will still have my right hand to use. Been thinking about some issues lately. Sometime i wonder is it i am the one who is weird or the rest? Is my expectation for others too high? I just do not understand myself. Maybe it is just one of my mood swings day.

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May 23, 2005
Fun is all i can say for today. I have my first motorbike ride. The thrill of riding in a bike is so exciting. As it is more dangerous compared to riding a car as you are vulnerable to all kinds of things. You can do nothing but to trust the driver. It made me realise this is also the same in life. In life we are open to all kinds of danger, who can you trust in life? Myself when i can’t even control the bike or to God who is all mighty and have control over all things. I rather place my faith in the latter one. What i want for myself is not only to love God but also to honour Him in my life. During these period of time when i am preparing for my mission trip, i really grow closer to God. He let me see things that i never seen before. I learnt to totally depend on Him on all my provisions. Just by worshipping Him is enough for me, as each time when i worship Him there are joy and gladness that come with it. Today, many people are searching everywhere to fill the emptiness in their hearts. Each time their hearts can only be satisfied for a while before it thirst again. Only God can quench the thirst in our hearts. Only Him and Him alone. At my personal retreat with God this afternoon, i learnt to hand over all things to Him including my feelings for XXX, no matter what she feels for me, i’m not going to be bother by it. I believe that if she is the right one for me, then someday we will be together. If not, i trust God has already prepared someone else for me just that the timing is not right yet. I’m going to yield my whole life to Him. If i am going to die tomorrow, i can 100% say i am ready to go and meet God. But are you ready and sure? For to live is in Christ and to die is to gain.

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May 22, 2005
My right hand is still aching from the badminton session just now. I guess too long never played so kind of lousy. The funds for my mission trip is almost completed thanks to all my supporters. I’m very touched by my cell members whether are they from my church or from BFEC. As they have supported me the most. I will be depending on their prayer support during my time there. During my time of raising support. God really taught me a big lesson on praying. As my funds was not coming in, i really depend and pray to God on this. It took quite a while before they come. But the moment God started working, the funds just flooded in like water. Within a day, i have almost reached my target. Left only a few to reach the target. There is still one thing which i want to do before i leave for thailand. That is to meet XXX but i do not think XXX will agree to meet me like this. Something are just hard to leave behind. Since you have made the choice why still trap yourself by not going forward. Maybe we are not meant to be. Soon i will have to leave so i guess that is it…

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May 22, 2005
What a wonderful day for me. First of all, it rained and this was the first time in my life that i’m glad it rained as i got a chance to do something sweet. Too bad, the other person did not have the same feelings as me. What to do if she does not like me. Love can’t be forced. Nevertheless my feelings are true to the end. Is it true that people always do not end up with the one the love the most? Haiz… After that in the evening i decided at the last minute to go to dylan’s house and watched soccer as she got to go to her friend’s birthday party. Have a nerve breaking night as arsenal was so lucky to win the FA cup final. It was by pure luck that they were able to keep the scoreline at 0-0. Then win at the penalty shootout by 5-4. After which dylan, danny, zhiwei and i drove down to 85 for supper. It was so filling man. Only got time for 3 and a half hours of sleep before waking up later in the morning for church. Nights guys.

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May 21, 2005

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You’d like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful… that you’ll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future… one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage pessimistically. You don’t think happy marriages exist anymore.
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You’ll do anything for love, but you won’t fall for it easily.
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?