Archive for August, 2005

This week

August 27, 2005
I got a new dog this week. It is a king charles breed. Quite happy as it is a very cute dog. But i still need to toilet train it. Haiz… Heard from Jane that auntie Anges will will be 100 years old next week. So i shall go down next week to visit her. Do not know what they are planning too. Have a bad news from Linus as he said he is not coming back to cell group. I wondered what’s wrong as he said he will come back and now no. No church and no cell. God, pls help him to be back with You. Now i do not know if i’m still staying on in that cell group cos i’m the only guy there. Therefore it’s a bit difficult to really have fellowship there. No matter what, there is still a different between guys and gals. One less reason for me to stay in cell group after all Linus is not coming back. I will miss Ethan a lot if i do not go. Have lots of fun playing with him everyweek. One more thing, i do want to go for the bible study that Waynne is talking about. God, if it is Your will. Do let me get in.

Overslept

August 22, 2005
What a horrible day is today. First of all, arsenal lost to chelsea by a stupid goal. Crappiest goal i ever seen. Then it affected my moods for the whole day. I was so tired until i couldn’t really do anything. Lastly, i overslept on my train ride home. It was a bad bad day for me. Still got things to give thanks for. Give thanks that i will only miss one stop even if i overslept. Give thanks that i never got into troubles. Give thanks for my father for what he has done for me. Thanks You, Lord for all these.

Missing you

August 22, 2005
Though you may not be able to accept me now. But my heart will goes on missing you. I will be there by your side whenever you need me. I will share the burden that you are carrying and the sorrows that you feel. MOAOO

Feeling down

August 20, 2005
Today i was feeling down during the earlier part of the day. It was until the later part of the day when i went down to church for band prac then the music minister to me. I was feeling very terrible at that point of time. Thanks God before the practice started, Wen Xing has asked me to play a cd. The songs really ministered to my soul. Suddenly my problems seem so small. When i began to remember about God’s greatness and wonders. It was just so amazing. Halfway through the practice, everything turned out to be alright. My soul felt so comforted after all that. At first, i wondered will i able to worship God with what i do? In the end, i have received much more for all that has happened. I realised how much trials and temptations we are able to overcome depends on how much are we willing to give up for God. Those rights that we hold on to, those things we hanker after and those feelings that we have. There is still one person whom i find it hard to let go. Do help me God.

Today = Fun pack

August 19, 2005
Life for me today is like a fun pack. You never know what you will get. Haha. To start off, i met Xuehua on the mrt this morning. I was feeling so strange when she smiled at me. Cause i was not wearing my spec so i could not see very clearly. Until at close distance then i can see it’s her. We chatted all the way to boon lay. Woohoo. So fun. Then i met up with shirin and her friend for lunch. Managed to do a bit of catching up with her. Erm… i forgot her friend’s name. Oh well… does not matter. Then i got 2 free lecture pads today. But i missed the free anime that they put in the goodie bags. Haiz… i wanted it so much. And they were giving away free mac lunch. Can you believe it? Oh man. In the afternoon, i went down to raffles place to shop for waynne’s birthday present. Got her a nice file before meeting her in the evening and passed it to her. Cell group was bad today. As most of them could not make it so it was cancelled. The problem was that i was there already. Haha. Elaine got sick again. I’m worried about her. Always get sick, more often than me. Will ask her how is she today. Nevertheless i have a fun time playing with Ethan this evening. I gave him the NDP touchlight. Also taught him chinese today. I think my left ankle is injured cos i felt a sharp pain when i was walking back home. Help me God.

Blessed

August 19, 2005
This sem i am really blessed by God for all the tutors that i got. For all of them are very good compared to some lousy ones that my friends have gotten. What is the best thing out of this? I can see God’s blessings on me. During that time, i was away for my mission trip in Thailand when the registeration of the subjects started. I told my friends to do it for me. Like anyone else, they just try to put the ‘best’ timeslots. In the end, my timetable turned out to be better than theirs and the tutors i got. It is just so wonderful. Sometimes i really wonder why God will choose to love a sinner like me. Why His love is so everlasting? Why He chose to die on the cross and suffer such a fate? All that were done because God is love. Some people just cannot see the love that God has for them. They did not want to acknowledge that there is this Creator for this world and them. They want to believe in themselves and what they can do. Hoping to so called ‘improve’ their lives by doing so. Is it really possible to do that? By using our own limited body and mind to achieve all these. So far Christianity is the only religion that talk about a loving God and a personal relationship with Him. The rest at most is to do good deeds. There is a world of difference between love and kindness. It is 2 entirely different issues. When we love, we will naturally do all those good stuffs. However when we have kindness, we may not love at all. You do not tell your spouse that i married you because i am kind to you. It is because of love that you marry a person and out of love that you are willing to do all sorts of things for your loved one. People sometimes are just mixed up between these two feelings though at times they may have the same results which is doing good to those around.

Beautiful because love is……

Funny day

August 16, 2005
I had a very amusing day today. I was supposed to pass Tammie her book back. Then i remembered i had put the book into my bag. Who knows when i met her that time. The book that i took out and passed to her was another textbook. I was like so stunned at that point of time that i did not know what to say. In the evening, after my PE, i went to Dylan’s house and played Winning Eleven 9. Woohoo. Had a great time there. Did not managed to challenge Danny as he was sleeping.

Serving

August 14, 2005
Over the weekends, i told someone that i am still not ready to serve in one ministry yet. As much as my heart wants to serve together with her but i will not do that. Cause i know if i serve now, it will not be for God but her. This is the thing which i do not want it to be. I want to honour God with what i do and serve for His sake and not for her. I know she will understand how i feel. Until i am sure i am doing it for God or else i will not step into this ministry. Sorry about that ‘U know who u are’.

Wonderful God

August 12, 2005
Lately i just started to see the goodness of Waynne leaving my church one year plus ago. I begin to see God’s plan and works in her life. There is something good that came out of the bad stuff. I do not think she will really grow into this level of spiritual life if she still remain in my church. For i seen how God has brought her to the wilderness and then guided her out of it. She has learnt how to depend on God during these period of dryness. His ways are much higher than ours. I too still have my struggles and my inner demons to overcome. The relationship issue still comes back and haunts me. As much as i do not want to think about it but it is still there. I want to honour God in my life first. But this issue is really crippling me from giving my all to God. Sometime i feel so helpless. I just want to be as true as i can be. I do not want to put on a mask and face people. Recently i started to dislike going for my church CG. Cause i feel we are doing nothing over there. Just fellowship and …… I do not even know what constructive things we do there. Especially when time is so precious to me now. I do not think i will go anymore unless they have things like bible study. We tried to have once for bible study. And Xav and i were supposed to prepare for it. In the end, i was the one who prepared for it. Most of the people were unprepared not all though. I felt super disappointed. Since then i understood how Don and Weili must have felt when they were leading the bible study and sometimes i came unprepared for it. It was a very hurting feeling. I just wanted to get all these out of it before they became a problem in my walk with God. Hope to resolve them soon.

Sick

August 9, 2005

I’m sick again. Haiz… Why do i always fall sick?