Archive for September, 2005

Happy Children Day

September 29, 2005
Once again children day is coming again. My emo period is over. Once again i give thanks to God for letting me learn more about Him and helping me through all these. It’s hard to be patience at times. It’s even harder to hand over things that you treasured most to Him. I’m glad i have the strength and faith to trust Him again. By studying the book of Ruth, i can see God’s provisions in her life. Now i have to do the same with mine. Thanks God for all these provisions in my life. By the way, Weili just given birth to her child, Erin, she is a beautiful child. Another item to give thanks for. Awesome God.
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Missing you

September 27, 2005

I miss you when something good happens to me,
because you are the one I want to share it with first.
I miss you when something bad happens,
because you make everything better.
I miss you when I cry,
because you kiss my tears away.
I miss you when I’m laughing,
because you make my laughter grow.
I miss you through all those times,
but I miss you the most,
when I’m lying in bed at night,
thinking about you.
Because before,
I knew, somehow, someway,
you have captured my heart away.

Memory lost

September 27, 2005
Just when i wanted to have my lunch this afternoon, i found out i got no money. Haiz… The worst time was when i was about to draw money from the ATM. I realised i have forgotten my password. Oh man. What a headache. Thanks God i got friends to borrow from. Haha. My memory is failing me. Getting old and senile. Still worrying about my 2 quizes next week and also my lab report. Got quite a lot to be completed by tomorrow. Feel like taking a break from all these. Slacker mode again. Hiya

200th post

September 26, 2005
Without realising this will be my 200th post. This also indicates that i did not post one a day. Haha. I realised i have a lot of ideas and goals in life. Somehow along the way of life, i kinda of slack off or did not managed to complete them. When the time comes for me to find someone for a heart and heart talk, there will be no one available for me. I think i do not really have many close friends whereby i can talk to them. I wonder if i am overprotective of myself. Not being wanted to get hurt therefore i maintain a distance from others except one. I can understand others so well but when it comes to myself. I am in a maze whereby i do not know who am i actually. I have to admit i am different from most of the guys as i am more towards metrosexual. Nevertheless i am not a gay. Cos the person i love is still a gal. Haha. Therefore i will not talk to guys about my problems for they will not be able to see it from my stands. Most of the time, i will find Gemi for a talk. Too bad, she is busy lately. She is one of the platonic friends i have. There is still Tammie around. Lately due to our lack of communication, i felt we have quite drifted away. Her textbooks are still with me. Haha. Is it good or bad? Come to think of it, i feel like a multi purpose plug. I can do almost everything. It will not be up to the best but will be above average. No matter which role God wants me to be in, i can just fit into it. Of course my best role will be a supporting character. I will not take the lead unless there is no one there to fill the role. Then i will just step in to take charge of stuffs. As usual, there will be a bad point about it. It will be that i am too people oriented, so i will care about all the views of all. I’m just not goal oriented. Next thing my job will be more of PR side. School work is also stressing me out. Haiz… Right now, i feel like alienated from my church cell group. Maybe my main commitment is at the other cell. At least it’s growing so i am not too worried about my church’s cell. The worst is that i will not be able to fit into it. That will be the least of my concern for it’s easy for me to catch up. After so many years, i still feel i have not established a solid relationship with them. For most of the people in my church’s cell are in band, whenever they talked about music i will get super turned off. For i know nuts about music. Just find it hard to have a strong bridge between us. Sometimes i wonder if i am too diverse? For i got too many different groups of friends and commitments. Pri, sec, jc, army, bfec’cell, church’s cell, ntu ccc and my ntu friends. How many of these do they really intersect with one another? None. Most of my time is spent with BFEC’s cell. I do enjoy my time there. Even just when i been there only for one year but the relationship i made there is stronger than those at church. Is there a reason behind? Maybe one day i will go there. Maybe not. Still now is not the time to change church for no indication from God yet. Everything is up to Him not me. That’s all for today. Tata

Time of the year

September 26, 2005
Oh yes, it is the time of the year again. I do not know whether is it good or bad. During this period of time, i will tend to get very emo. Which one can induce from my previous posts. It also means i will be dropping all of my commitments. For i get tired easily during this period as i tend to think 10X more than norm. It will normally last for 2 weeks, before and after. I will go through what has happened during the past year and resolve all outstanding issues. This is also an important time when i will spend my time with God. To help me set my goals for the next coming year and also to commit myself once more to Him. There are still a few things which i’m not sure if i will be going. Cell group which i’m not sure if there is on friday, team meeting on sat morning and cell again on sat evening. I will struggle a lot during this period due to my very emo and unstable state. Be Thou my wisdom.

Love

September 25, 2005
To love is such a painful yet wonderful process. To be able to love is a beautiful thing. To be loved is an awesome feeling. One-sided love will most probably end up in suffering. How i wish she will love me back. Nevertheless i am glad that God loves me even if she doesn’t.

Damn tired

September 24, 2005
Not a very good day for me. In the morning, i was bombed by Weiwu’s MLM talks. I was like using all my mental power to really fight against it. It’s so easy to be talked into joining MLM when you did not totally think about it. As there are so many benefits on the papers for you to join. It’s just not for me. Then in the afternoon, I met up with Linus and Andy to go window shopping. We have visited almost all the branded shops in Orchard road. Shops like LV, Gucci, Prada, YSL, Etro, Hermes and a lot more. It’s the once in a bluemoon whereby i upgrade my taste and shopping skills which those branded stuffs. Andy bought a YSL’s bag today. Quite nice and cool. After our dinner, i was so drained that anyone who crossed my paths with get it from me. My headache got so severe that it kept pulsing my brain. I felt like vomiting for the last 2 hours. Maybe partly was due to the negative reply i got from her. As she still does not want to go out with me. But it really mean a lot to me for next sat. At the end of the day, i still want to hand it over to God on my feelings for her. I must not be too emotional for i know the plans that God has for me is the best. Everything has it’s own timing.

What a day and Just for you

September 21, 2005
I just made some flowers today. Though not for the one i love. But it’s for those old folks at the nursing home. It’s not my idea. Haha. It’s Elaine. I was only the assistant to help her put those flowers in the pots. It was great to see the smiles on their faces. The best thing was to see the smile at auntie Agnes’s face when i passed her the photo album i made for her. She was very happy about it. She told me it’s better than a million dollars. I totally agreed with her. For a million dollars cannot buy you the pictures at one’s 100th birthday. I told her it was from all of us, Elaine, Jane, Trisha and me. For without Jane and Trisha i would not have the photos. What a wonderful time we spent at the home. Even when Jane flew us kite today. But i’m sure she got her own reasons for not coming down today. Will hear her out on friday. For the poem i heard on last sat, i am going to post it here for her to read if she does in the first place.
God did not take a bone out of Adam’s head and made Eve,
therefore woman are not made to rule over man.
And God did not take a bone out of Adam’s foot and made Eve,
in the same way woman are not made for man to trample on.
Instead God took a bone out of Adam’s rib and made Eve,
a bone that is so close to the heart and under the arms.
Which is why woman are meant for man to love using his heart and protect using his arms.
I’m not sure if these are the exact words but the meaning is there. This is for you……

Upcoming events

September 16, 2005
The next upcoming event will be Shing Yian’s birthday. Will be in 2 weeks time. Hmm… Have not discuss with the rest of what to do with it. Maybe i will send out an email later. hohoho. Should we celebrate on the friday before her birthday or on the same week itself? But it will be the time of the year whereby once more i willl do the disappearing act. Will see as we go along. Whether to go missing anot. Haha

Selfish!!! Am i???

September 14, 2005
I wondered if i am selfish at all. I do admit sometimes i will be selfish but that is very rare. Most of the times i will be compromising to others. My sister is the one who is lacking sense of responsibility or should i say do not want to take them up. She wanted to borrow my laptop and use. So i just ask her to promise me that if in the afternoon when i use it and it’s spoilt then she has to pay for the repairs of the laptop. Guess what she answers me, she said: ‘When laptop gets old, it will be spoilt.’ In another word, she does not want to hold any responsibility for it. All i ask of her is that if after she finishes using it and it’s spoilt then she has to pay for it. If not, everything is fine. What the use of keep telling me that it will not be spoilt? What i wanted is that she takes her own responsibility for other’s people property. Is that too hard to ask for? In the church i see people like this who do not take care of church’s property and now at home it is also the same thing. Why can’t people just take good care of other’s property? If it does not belongs to them, should we just misuse it anyhow? NO. All the more we should take extra good care of them when it’s not ours. People just do not see that. Lately there are too many things that i am disappointed in. All these origined from sin. I have to admit that i am not perfect myself. There are still a lot of flaws in my life. Father in heaven, i too need Your forgiveness in my life.