Archive for February, 2006

Nice foods

February 28, 2006
Why my parents always buy those nice foods when i am fasting? I cannot really take it. Only can smell but cannot eat it. What a thing to endure? Oh man. Maybe this is part of the test bah. haiz..
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Last week plus GIP

February 27, 2006
Last week was a very bad week for me cos i faced a lot of attacks and my emotions was not too stable also. From monday to friday i was lacking in the study of the bible. Accusations keep coming in. What a 180 degrees of changes. From a close relationship with God to one which i can hardly feel His presence. I could not really take that. Do i still love myself more than i love God at this stage of my life? Then i missed the cell group on friday which i seldom did so. I just felt that i could not go for it at that point of time. On sat after attending a fruitful workshop at SMU, i too wanted to skip the cell at my church and just go home. Thank God that Gemi asked me out and accompanied her to buy a ipod’s cover. In the end, i just bared my heart to her and told her what happened. I just landed up in cell after that and managed to feel the slight presense of God even when there is so many things weighing down on me. The spiritual attack has been so strong lately. On sunday i also told Xavier what has been happening to me. As we are each other intercessors, i told him to pray for me. For this week, i am going on a five day of fasting and prayer. Was going to ask him if he can fast one meal a day for me too. Instead he suggested himself, i was like ‘God You are awesome’. Just this morning i went for my GIP interview, i think i may have screwed up. Did not handle the first ques that they throw at me well. Did quite ok for the rest of them. But what are my chance of going to China? Only God knows. Not very keen in the first place too as it means that i have to leave church for a few months. Not getting to see some people here. Well be quite sad for me. Haiz… Nevertheless it is a good experience if i can go. Leaving it all up to You, God. It’s Your say not mine.

Blessing others

February 18, 2006
This week started off quite badly for me as there were too many things for me to study and do. At the end of it, i have nothing but thanksgiving to God for all His help. During all these times of difficulties i can see nothing but His hand guiding me through all that. I am blessed. God has also touched upon my heart to buy an ipod video for Gemi, which i did so. I have struggled with God for quite long on this issue. Why me to bless her with that? It costs me $548 to buy her that. Nevertheless, i know God will bless me back many folds. After talking to her on the phone, i am even more sure it was God who touched my heart and let me see her needs. Oh well, will be passing her that tomorrow. Thank you, Lord.

Getting interesting

February 7, 2006
Things are starting to get interesting once again. Forgot to mention that last friday my cell group had ‘lao yu sheng’, it was quite fun. Hehe. Yesterday, i managed to fix up a date to meet up with Tanya and Yi Fern. Those two gals which i had not met up since my army days. Been 3 years since we last met up, think they have changed quite a bit. Haha. I also met up with Xavier just now at the airport to discuss a few issues regarding our church. Suddenly he got this idea of doing a new booklet like the 4 SL. But it will be much more and clearer that the 4 SL. Right now, the 4 SL is still not very complete. At least, this is what i feel about it. So we are going to start working on it, cos the basic points are already out. Just need some fine tuning and the linking up part. Wow. I’m so excited by what God is going to do. Awesome God.

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February 3, 2006
Similar Interests

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Conflict

February 3, 2006
Now my inner and outer is having a conflict. My inner man is growing out of the shell. Sometimes my outer man just do not want to die off. How i wish i could let my outer man just die off like this so my inner man can grow stronger. I think i have been giving myself too much excuses. Looks like i have to go to church for the morning prayer session when i have afternoon classes now. This has been in my mind for a very long time. I too do not know why i got the idea. But i think i will try to start going. My chase after God will not be stopping here. It will be far more than nothing.