Archive for January, 2007

WHY

January 31, 2007

Thanks Cass for asking me that question. I almost forgotten my first love for God. How much He meant to me in my life. That’s the full story for you.

 

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I’d finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

 

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

 

So I said “Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I’ll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can’t you do something?
He looks as though He’s gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?”

 

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide

 

So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

 

And it said, “Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can’t You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?”

 

“My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I’ve heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You’ll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father’s side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die”

 

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Welcome back

January 31, 2007

At long last, Shing Yian is back from taiwan after 5 months. My ‘go home’ buddy is back. Haha. Glad that she is back safely, thanks God for that. This kind of safety should never be taken for granted. Thanks for the gift here, i appreciate your efforts.

Went down to study at Tampines library first before moving on to Pasir Ris library. I think Pasir Ris is a better to study. I like the environment over there. Managed to cover my 3002. It is really time to do some catching up. Cannot slack anymore le. Many things are running throught my mind now. Do not know how to manage my time also. A lot of things i do not feel like taking part in right now. A lot of people i do not feel like talking to.

Pressure so much pressure. I cannot hardly breathe at all. I really HATE engineering. Why must i take this path? Regreted my choice very much. Have to stomach that for one year plus.

Outsourcing…

January 30, 2007

I heard a very funny convesation on train today. Anyway there was this woman sitting beside me and she was talking on the phone to her friend. And this sentence that she said sounded funny to me ‘Going to church is a form of outsourcing your spiritual life to God and let Him take care of it for you. It is expensive.’ Then she went on to say ‘Sometimes you need to sit and really think what is it like to be a human.’ I was like having question marks all over my head. To me i was like if you really know the true reason of why there is a spiritual life then you will believe in the existence of God. Even robots also need creators like us. But do robots think about what is it like to really be a robot? My answer is NO. So why do we humans can think of this whereas animals can’t? I believe the answer is simple to this question. If we can truly 100% prove by scientific methods and repeat the whole process of creation, then i tell you i will at that instant stop being a Christian. The thing is that we can’t, we can only assume because we are part of this universe. We are also being created by God in the first place.

I do wonder if i am living in a foolish world or a world with foolish people who do not believe in God yet cannot prove that God does not exist.

Good linkplay

January 29, 2007

Today the two bus drivers for 179 had a very good linkplay between them. It was unlike others bus drivers. The bus that i was on has very good ball control and good decision making. When it stopped at a bus stop for people to board, the other bus behind just drove a bit further up and let the passengers alight. It was like passing the ball from my bus to the other bus. Then the other driver just continued to dribble the ball on towards goal. When he was at the final third half, he was blocked by a defender so he has to stop and pass the ball to my bus and we just ran pass the defender. As we head into the penatly box, the goalkeeper just came charging at us. But the bus driver made a good decision, instead to stop and shoot, he just sidestep pass the goalie and shoot with his left foot. And it’s a GOAL. The crowds are cheering…… then i’m in school. Haha.

What is my vision?

January 29, 2007

If you see me posting at this day at this time, means i am not at cell group le. Frankly speaking, i have not caught the vision of the china ministry that some of my cell members are taking part in. If i were to be honest to myself, those people who caught the vision are mostly closely related to one another. For those who have not but like me who tried or kept going to help out, it is because we understood what this ministry is doing and the fruits that are coming out of it. Sometimes i feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. What is the square hole that You want me to fit into, God?

Wanted to go Whitesands and study today, but i’m too tired to go. School has been stressful this sem. I really do not know what to do with it. Felt so lost at times. So i think i should be studying mon, wed and fri at Whitesands. Please do not ask me out on those days. Most likely you will be rejected by me. Tue and thur are my training days. So sad to say but i’m practically not free during weekdays. For weekends, have to see my schedule. Being a christian does not mean serving 24/7 in the ministry. But being the best in what God intended us for.

Style change

January 28, 2007

Rockman Exe ‘Style Change’. Haha. Undergoing a style change now. But it would not be for school time and only for during going out. After going out to shop with Cass for 2 times, i think i have understood her style and can take some of her style and make it my own. Haha. So i have a new style to work on now. So the time for another upgrade has come. Haha. Nothing much to say now. Tired.

Going to study on mon, wed and fri le. So most prob i will not be joining cell bah. Cos this sem is really a bit stressed up. Please forgive me all. Sometimes i need to choose one. If i want to commit to Sat, then i need to let go of mon. But if i choose mon, then i would not want to come church at all on sat. Time not enough.

Shopping Spree

January 26, 2007

Went shopping with Cass today. Was fun. Hehe. By the way, she was late again. But it is for a good cause. So she has been forgiven. We went to marina square and shop for her cap first and yup with me sponsoring her $20 bucks, she got herself a nice cap for only $1. Haha. But she certainly took a long time to compare all the caps. It’s ok. I’m fine with that. Next we went to collect her photos which i helped her to develop before she reaches. And she was like saying they are so nice all the way from city hall to bugis. Wahaha. So at bugis, our aim or rather mine was to get jeans and a pair of shades. Cass and i were like trying on all the shades there. In the end, i managed to get a nice pair which suit my face shape and two pairs of jeans. Finally, we decided to head down to bedok for dinner. Dinner was at KFC, which i have not eaten for a very very long time. Since she wanted to eat that, so give her face. Hehe. Actually wanted to eat myself too. But no excuses for me and now there is one. Just before we are leaving, she saw a very cute baby and played a while with him. Then i took some pictures of him. Yup. I agree fully that he is cute.

Oh ya, we just realised today that everytime when i met her, she was always in her school uniform. So far, today is the 5th time. The first was with Grace, second at FOP, third at SOP and fourth is like a few weeks ago. Then we just went for our cell respectively. Btw, Elaine arrowed me to lead worship last minute and there was no guitarist today. Haha.

At the end of cell when Taive was driving me home, we saw a man who took his pants off and shaked his bum in the middle of a street. So crazy….

Not myself or is it?

January 25, 2007

Had a terrible start to this morning. I was late for my tutorials at school because of a lot of factors. I guess the main reason will be me as i leave my house a bit late. Then everything started to factor in. It really triggered off me. I really do not like bus divers who have no foresight at all. When there are really no people alighting or boarding, they still want to turn into the bus stop and stop for what. It is a waste of time. And then when they wanted to turn out, it will be delayed for at least a minute due to cars coming. Which will sometimes make them miss the next traffic lights. And when all these keep repeating themselves, a whole 10 minutes could be gone. The reason ……. If 1 person 10 mintues is wasted and there happened to be 20 people on board, it will turn out to be a total of 200 minutes of workhours to be gone. Which so happened i do not like this kind of cases. Now every little thing will get me off. Once i start, i can’t stand complaining about all the little things. Some people really do not use their brains when doing stuffs.

This is not the least of my problem. Today i have 4 appointments or places that i need to turn up. Only 1 do not crash with the rest. The others are at the same time slots. It’s confirm i will be meeting Cass at 2pm to shop. All the things that happened this morning will give me reasons to buy more stuffs later on. I will be left will whether to head for cell, church or JC gathering. Actually if possible, i would like to head home for a rest. So confused. Will come to a decision later on.

Lost

January 25, 2007

This week i feel so lost. Do not know why either. Suddenly i have so many wants but few needs. Maybe it’s new year time. So i feel like changing so many of my stuffs. Typical of me. For this year V day, i do not feel much pressure at all. Maybe i am beginning to let go of this kind of stuffs. If it comes, it comes. No point forcing and in the end so many people will get hurt.

HAPPY V DAY TO ALL

Man from a past

January 23, 2007

On my way back to school today, i did not take my usual route back. Instead of taking a train down all the way, i took to woodlands and change a bus back from there. I did not know why at first. Even before when i was planning my route back at school, this route just came to my mind that i need to do this. Did not really want to do that at first cos it is longer. But when i came to boon lay mrt station i have no choice. I saw that the train service is disrupted from aljunied to do not know where. So i just have to detour from my usual route. Guess what, when i alighted at Jurong East mrt station, they then announced that the train service has been resumed.

At the last part of my bus journey, i saw my former CSM. I was taken aback in the first place when i saw that he is still a master sgt. When i ‘ORDed’ three years ago, he was supposed to be going for the next JWOC. Plus he is not driving his Mazda 6 anymore. I really appreciated the times when he drove us back home from camp. He is a nice guy but not a so good colleague to work with. Still i guessed something must have happened which was serious enough for him to sold his car off. If God wanted me to see this, i guessed He has something for me to do or learn.