Archive for May, 2007

Backstabbed

May 31, 2007

My heart broke today when i heard what my close friends told me. I really never expected her to do such things to me. Yet after listening to what Mike and Keith told me, i was so upset. What kind of game is she trying to play here? Doesn’t she understand that in the end she will be the one that is on the losing end? I think i have given up on her. Not going to care about her any longer. After Mike, Keith and i have clarified things out this afternoon, Mike was really angry with her and wanted to scold her. In the end, it is better to let the whole thing rest. Just asked them to give me some face and forget about the whole issue. Hopefully all things end here. Now i just want to complete this minor of mine in peace. No more troubles for me or for anyone else. I pray that there is enough love from God in me to forgive and forget.

R.I.P

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Learn to Trust

May 30, 2007

The lesson for me this time round is learn to trust. At times, no matter how worried you are for that person. One must be able to let go and trust that person that he/she knows what he/she is doing. Even if something happens along the way. There will still be love to forgive and carry on loving. Because 真正的爱需要真正的信任. If one cannot do this at all, then is there to talk about. Do not even mention love in the first place. Because true love is not about controlling. It is about letting go and letting that person learns from mistakes. When he/she falls down, be there to lift he/she up again. Be their walking stick or even their legs if it needs to. And that is love. If love can be stained by pasts and mistakes, it will not be love. It is only an illusion sustained by other factors. Not from the heart, not from the soul but from the outside. With only the shell and no substance at all.

So that is another lesson for me. Will You be my legs even though i am running away from You?

Time to rest

May 29, 2007

It is time for a good rest after the last 5 days of hardwork. We really worked until no day and night. We lost track of time itself during the last 5 days. This afternoon during presentation i was super pissed off by Hong Jing’s group. They never informed us that we were going to be next, until the last minute. I really felt like scolding him but i chose to avoid a direct confrontation. Suppose to be them yet in the end, they just keep quiet all the way without telling us the changes they made themselves. This has made me has even more negative views about him. Anyway i feel he also does not like me much so it is fine with me. He would not be able to do much to me too because i am on friendly terms with almost all the people in the minor. As life goes on, this is the way how people will be forced to play politics. So it will still be ok for now. Hope i will not have to work with him for the next 2 projects. I rather work with Delvin who is more demanding than that cheeky monkey. I am in a super super bad moods today. Damn it. I do not know what is on her mind. Seems alright on msn and sms but when talk to her direct, she seems so fierce. Anyway this is the 1st time that so many people are behind me for some reasons. The big support that i have made during this minor course, i am very glad that they are there for me.

War Time

May 28, 2007

It’s time for another war. We managed to make it on time to hand it our reports. After several sleepless nights, i was like woohoo. Tomorrow will be on the marketing part. How are we going to sell the idea? WE must have the killer edge over the rest of the groups. I think we got a great storyline to follow. It’s time to rumble.

3 hours of sleep daily

May 27, 2007

This course seems so nice to put their lessons timing from 9am to 5pm each day. In actual fact, the working hours are from 9am to 5AM in the morning. I am hardly getting any sleep at all. This period is my worst period in NTU. Have to spend the whole day like 21 hours on sat and sun in school doing project. Oh mine. Of course it has it’s fun part too, all of us rushing the projects and trying to outdo one another. Yet at the same time, offering our helps to whichever teams that need it. Just help Karin to look through the F/S that Hong Jing helped her to draft up. Asking an engineering student to help a business student on Income Statement and all that. Seriously, i do learn alot from this minor program. A tons of new skills can already be found in me. Including the latest which is doing Balance Sheet and others. WHEN can i sleep???

Accounting

May 26, 2007

Sharks, i could not believe that it took me just one night to learn all the basic accounting stuffs. Kept doing the Income Statement, Balance Sheet and Cash Flow statement. A few mistakes here and there were enough for us to do changes for hours. What the heck is it about. Must wake up early in the morning and chiong again. Super sian. Die die must finish this by this afternoon.

I do not know why people likes to link me up with other gals. Seriously i have enough of this. First Violet, then Apple and yesterday Karin. What is going on man? Maybe this group of people i seldom have contact with so that’s why. From this, somehow we can know the number of cliques in this minor. I believe there are 4 main cliques in total. The 1st two can sometimes considered as 1 too. Then it will goes down to power distribution. There are a few influential people in this minor. Hazel and i are one of those, plus a few more others. That’s it and back to my F/S. Sian 

Panda mode

May 26, 2007

Sharks. At this time which is coming to 10pm, we have not started to compile our project. Which is like over the deadline le, so i think i will not be going church for tomorrow. Got to rush for the project. Haiz. Somemore still got video and other stuffs to do. Today my moods was a bit bad. At least i have learnt to control such stuffs. Anger mangement is very important. For this minor, i think i have done a very good job in rapporting support. So my PR skills is really zhai. All will know who am i by now which i can’t say the same for the rest. Be loud but know your limit.  

4 A.M

May 25, 2007

It is 4a.m in the morning. I do not know what am i still doing in ADM? I want to go back to KT’s hall and sleep. Yet, something is making me staying back here. Someone sincere and kind. What is this kind of feeling that i am having? Knowing it may not turn out well, yet i choose the hard way. Frankly speaking, i do not know myself too. Still have not finish my report which i need to hand it by tomorrow. And i do not know what to write for my HR plan. Someone please help me. It is all business plan all the way.

Tradeoff

May 24, 2007

After having my sleep back for one night which means i did not really carried out my given task. So i must take the risk of skipping lesson for half a day and hopefully Catherine does not find out about this. Even now, i still having the feeling of hangover. Anyway, i think my new group is quite good as we got designer and a pro-marketing students inside it. It again to me seems to be the best group for this EN102. Because it focus on marketing. So i guess there is no really the dream team for all but one for each different situation. I feel so blessed for this minor of mine.

Then again there is this tradeoff, which is that Violet is not in this team of mine. Was expecting this to happen also. How fast can my feelings change or develop. Just last week i was just ok with her in my team and it did not even bother me much whether she is there or not. Come this week, it seems to change 180 degrees in my attitude towards her. This change of attitude did not arise from a romantic motive, it is the result of a chance of getting to know her better in person. She is a person who seeks to be simple and i really admire that. In fact, i respect that motto of hers “The pursue of Simplicity”. How i wish i could be like her. To be simple in all walks of life. Hope i will have the chance to get to know her better, in fact more deeper. I think i will learn much from her and hope i can impart her something in return too. Anyway it is more or less that she and i will be going down to Keith’s church together this sunday. I pray that her mindset will be changed towards Christ. Let not me have any other reasons that i am going down with her this sunday except to have a chance to bring her to You. Keep my heart and thoughts purely for You.  

One night of fun

May 24, 2007

In celebration of our completion of our projects, we went to St James Powerhouse and Zouk last night. It has been a long long long time since i last went to this kind of places. Anyway St James was free entry for us because Violet got the sms for free entry. So we just watched the bartender’s competition that is held there. Only Esther, Violet and i were over at St James for yesterday. After the competition was over, we headed to Vivo City to meet up with Jason, Gerrad, Derek and one more guy to chill out for a while. It was really a short gathering before the 4 guys decided to go and watch soccer. Only left Violet and i going down to Zouk to meet the rest of them. At Zouk, in total there were 8 of us who were Mike, Keith, Leon, Denise, Sophia, Qingyang, Violet and I. So we just danced the night away. I think i was quite ok with it. Before all these events, when Violet called me to postphone the time to meet her. She suddenly cried over the phone which i was taken aback for 1 sec. My feelings are very mixed now. I think my character has changed again. She will be the first one who i can just let things her way and do stuffs for her yet there is no those kind of feelings for her. Only yesterday, then i realised that there might have a bit yet i am so unsure of it because of my pasts. But she is not a Christian yet. Maybe this sunday i am going with her to church but not to ECF.

Now it is the start of a new project and she and i are not in the same team anymore. So ya… See how things develop bah. Now i have to read up the whole book on Consumer behaviour by tonight. Help me please.