Archive for June, 2007

END of intersem. Start of holiday

June 29, 2007

Yesterday marked the end of my intersem courses. After one month plus, it is finally over. Coming to think of it, i miss those days that we were together. But all good things must come to an end, now is the time for it. I missed those friends i have made during the course. People of all kinds and the time whereby we just endured and rushed our projects all together. Those were the days that i will not forget. The tears and laughters that we shed together during each projects. Those sleepless nights whereby we pushed and supported one another. Putting all our knowledge together and make the best of of it. Learning more about ourselves and each other. Working as a team to cover for one another weaknesses.

All the best for the future, Intake 10. Looking forward to seeing one another for EN105 during Sep. Best wishes.

Last few days

June 26, 2007

I am coming soon to the end of my intersem courses. I’m quite happy with the whole minor people except for a few. EN104 is whereby everyone will get wary about the other teams and secret alliances are forged between one another. Even friends will not tell you much on the things they are doing right now. But i respect their decisions on that. Just feel so tired right now that i feel like sleeping. It is 5am and i am still doing projects in school. What the heck is that? I thought this is the easiest out of the 4. When i choose my team members yesterday, i do not feel like choosing Esther because i think she will not contribute much to it. So it is true. But she came to ask me if she could join mine, so i find it hard to turn her down too. Haiz. But still there are lessons to be learnt from this game.

Jane also contacted me on msn this evening to talk about what has happened lately. I am glad that she is still going on strongly and are going to rebuild what has been destroyed. But i am not sure myself if i can give that kind of committment. I just feel a bit tired and weary even though i am not in the midst of it. So sick of seeing my own heart and the hearts of others. Why is there always man hidden agenda in all things and decisions? Is there anything pure?

Freak, i just want a rest and nothing else. A nice sleep on my cozy bed. 🙂

Aftermath

June 24, 2007

I guess it turned out to be a big incident afterall. Even Richard had heard news of it. Not the first time and it will not be the last too. When things of this sort happens, it will either be a make or break case. So it is the latter in this situation. Am i glad that i am out of this? Having a mixed feeling now. Waiting to see how the whole issue will turn out. I’m glad that i’m protected from all these. Thank You Father.

My love will bring you home

June 22, 2007

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashame, my love will get you home.
If its only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home

Boy, my love will get you home
Boy, my love will get you home

I came upon this song when i was watching a TVB serial with my brother. One of those times that we do things together. I really love this song. Somehow it spoke to me. Reminds me of how much God loves me. What is the one thing that will bring me back to Him. Love is the one and only thing. Because of love, He came down. Because of love, He suffered. Because of love, He died. Because of love, He is coming back. Because of love, He is what He is. There are things that i cannot get over with at this moment of time. Much more so after i learnt about some new stuffs that are going on. It really make me feel so disappointed in people. Why things have to come to this stage? Did they really put God in the first place or their self interests? Are things changing so fast that it pose a threat? Or are they struck in their comfort zone that they do not want to move? Can’t they heard anything anymore? Is it what God wanted in the first place? I do not like conflicts so i will avoid it at all costs. Please forgive me if i am not going back again.

Relationship advisor?

June 19, 2007

I realise that alot of people like to look for me for relationship issues. Till now i still do not get the reason why. Even i have no experience in it but i still can talk until i am a pro in it. I believe this got to do with my conversation with people and how i look. Maybe my face gives people that kind of safe feeling. It is ok to leave your secret with me. Haha. But i am glad that they do want to talk to me about it in the first place. Because this is personal to them and i know they are treating me as a personal friend in this way. I also find out that gal can get very close to a guy yet there is nothing between them. How close is close? Hmm.. i know this friend that can spend the night over at a guy’s place and they are still normal friends. Of course this seems to be the extreme case. But anyway, this is how fast the gap is closing. People may not know where is the line now.

This afternoon i was thinking over this issue ‘At what cost is developing costing us’? When a nation’s economy grows, resources are being wasted for it. The first victim of this is mother nature. Oil are being used up and pollutions are being created. Are we digging our own graves without knowing it? Or even worse, we are digging it for the future generation. Moral values are going down. This happens to every developing nations and those which are developed. People do not know how to live anymore. I can only think of a reason for this. That is all human beings are selfish in the first place. We do things always for ourselves and not for others. This can be proved from the moment we are born. I asked myself this question that ‘Will a baby cries because other babies are hungry or in need’? or ‘Does a baby cries only when he/herself is in need’? Of course my answer will be the baby will cry only when he/herself is in need. The baby will not go or know how to care for others. This is the most basic prove that all humans are selfish. Because we are born this way, in a way that most of us will try to meet our needs first before we think of others. So what about those who can lay their lives aside for other people? This is the kind of people that after educating them with moral values then it will happen. Without education, it will not happen at all.

What i have said above will only happen when we take God out of context. If we put God into the picture then it will be a different story. Just like what is happening now. Because without God, there is no way people can differentiate good from bad. All will only be driven by our born instinct which is to fulfill our needs and wants. It is because of the existence of God that we are able to come up with moral values. To put a line and divide the good from evil.

Just a random thoughts that will have a full stop here. Cause i am getting tired. off to bed.

Heartless

June 18, 2007

Too many hurts over a short period of time caused by people. So what are they trying to do? Forcing me to be a heartless person? I have lost faith in people as i seen too much politics. Been involved in them and tired of them. I guess kind people cannot really handle politics well. It is so hard to put on a false front. I tried to love those who hurt me yet i am still human at the end of the day. My love is so limited. Please do not push me to the dead end. I hate to play this game which i know i will excel in when i turn heartless. If you want to see the devil in this game, you will see one when i turn into one.

Now at least i am glad that the exams are over and there is one week break ahead of me. So chill for now.

Lies Lies and more Lies

June 15, 2007

It really to a lot of lies just to cover up one. This is my lesson for the past 2 days. As for the details, i will not go too much into it. Sometimes this is the best way to settle things.

Clear minded

June 13, 2007

After a swim this morning, i am more clear minded now. No matter if it’s true or not, i do not really want to care about it so much now. There is seriously no point in trying to guess whether is she that person. Though there are a few tell tale signs but i maybe wrong myself. Anyway, i will just let nature take it’s course for now. I have made a mistake once for this course. I do not want to make another one at this point of time.

Just hope Violet will not come along for the case study later. It seems like she is neither here nor there right now. I pray that she will find a direction in her life and knows what she really wants and how to get it at the end of the day.

Shocking News

June 13, 2007

Now the time is 3am in the morning and i just came back from Wala Wala. Quite a nice place to chill out. I am glad that many of them turned up for today. Leon, Denise, Mike, QingYang, Karin, Jason, Sutanto, Kevin, Hong Jing, Delvin, Natalie, Violet, Apple and me. Plus a few more of their friends. Too many things happened today. Till now i still can’t quite get over it. First time doing a case study with Delvin. Not stressed at all. So i guess he is alright. The next big thing is Leon asking Denise to be his girlfriend on stage in front of all the people in Wala Wala. That was shocking. The standard he set was so high. Really spoilt the whole market for people like me. Finally, the last one is about myself which till now i do not know whether should i believe it or not. Mike told me that someone in the minor class likes me. This is really the ultimate shocker for the day. If that is true, then i may have an idea of who is it. Just when i want to finish my minor in a peaceful and relax manner, this news has to come. But there is just one more module left. So yup. If that is the case, then let us be in the same group for the next module. I do not know why a girl will like me when i am not tall, handsome or rich. At the most, i am only lame. This is what i can offer to her. Still this would not be the first time that i am hearing such news. Haha. Just that if it’s her, then it will be a bit shocking. This is like Ripley’s believe it or not.

Father, i am losing more and more of You in my life. I know this fact yet why am i not doing anything. Have i really let go of my faith?

Mahjong

June 12, 2007

I paid $30 as school fees for mahjong today. It was fun though so i do not mind paying it. Comparing to clubbing, i think this is more enjoyable. The players for today are Leon, Denise, Delvin, Karin and me. Leon and Denise is the big winner for today as they won us us. In the end, the 3 of us were negative in values. Haha. Too bad Apple did not want to join us. If not, i could have share with her. Maybe i will not lose so much. Cos this is the 1st time playing for me. Anyway up next is Wala Wala. Woohoo here i come.