What a day

I do not know what to comment for the day but it has been good overall. First of all, i cannot find my t-shirt that i need to wear to work after looking up and low in my house. The last place that i ever though of finding it in was the laundry basket. And it has been there for 1 whole week. I was like extremely furious when i found that. After a minute when i cooled down, i realised it has been my fault for not checking everything was in place the day before. It will be unfair to push all the blame to someone else. If it was me in the past, i would have done that totally without any guilt. At least i learn not to assume anything from now on, always double check. This also applies to my workplace next time and it is a very important lesson to learn now rather than in my workplace.

All these while when i was looking for a new church to settle down in, i did not realise that God has planned one for me a long time ago. Maybe it is for time as this. I am a very unique case whereby i did not belong to either one side. I was left halfway hanging in the air, abandoned by both sides. Causing seeds of pain, grief and hate to grow in my heart. It has consumed and blinded me for quite sometimes until recently. Maybe i am trying to find a link or my eyes have just been opened. Haha. Nevertheless, it is all in the past. So i shall head toward the new church this coming week. In Your freedom, i will live.

I have also seen the lesson that i need to learn from Joleen. That’s why i decided to stop running on sundays morning. I really thank those whom i have affection on for making a clean break with me. Because short term pain is much better than long term. From the way that i am looking at her internal suffering, i have seen my past in her. I do not understand if Sam does not want to commit or he feels that they are not suitable together then why not make a clean break with her? I will DESPISE him if he is just holding onto her making use of her as a spare while waiting to see if someone comes along. If he knows that she will just cling on like this and think that in the future something may change but he will still remain unchanged. Then i feel it is better for him to really break all contacts with her rather than continue to be close friend. It is doing her more harm. Stupidity.

At least, i know someone who is wise beyond her age to know that what is best for her and what is not. That will definitely not be Joleen.


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