Archive for March, 2008

Shutter

March 30, 2008

Weekends was only watching the movie ‘Shutter’ with SY and Elaine. Quite a nice movie at least there is plot to the whole thing. As usual, it is still within the limit. Nothing came out of a sudden. 2 steps ahead of the movie. Haha. After the movie was supper at 85 till around 3am in the morning. That was late. SY and me had to accompany Elaine to her house first before we head home because of the movie. Oh well, cab was expensive even for the short trip back to our respective houses. Overall, it was a nice time going out. I do have one complain which will be that it was too last minute. So SY, please try to plan earlier next time. I find it hard to adapt to last minute stuffs. haha. Only studying can be done last minute. lol

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Song of Songs

March 25, 2008

I think i will be studying on Song of Songs for quite sometimes. Though it is only 8 chapters but it speak of the love of Christ. Dear Father, open my heart to feel the love that You have for us.

Affirmation

March 24, 2008

Had dinner with Xav, Lester and Silin. Quite a nice time of chatting. After hearing from Xav, i am sure that i did not hear wrongly about my loaning out of camera. At least, i know that it is not from my ownself. When there is a prayer, there will always be an answer. It is only at times when people pray out from their selfish desire then they do not see them coming to pass. When a path is being shown to you by God, there will always be affirmation from others. In very rare cases will there be no affirmations. So now, i am down to nothing again. No money, no camera and no time. But i did have my life back. The life of walking once again in His presence. When you being through the darkness, the bitterness and the sadness, then will you be thankful for God. Those who have been forgiven much, love much. In self righteous, there will only be destruction. My righteous will only come from Him and Him alone.

Nice nice rest

March 23, 2008

I had a nice rest over this weekend. Time to work hard after this. Just had a jog earlier on with SY. Then acted as an output filter for Felicia on her problems. That is life for me. Haha. My ideal conversation is whereby there is a flow of information of input and output. If i am the one who is just asking questions like a reporter, then it will not be conversation anymore. That will not be for me. I cannot stand that.

Anyway i sorted out my thoughts during these few days. Whatever is it, my relationship with God need to be right first. I have also lend out my camera set. The L lens will be lend to Lester and the rest will be to Xavier. I will not be taking any pictures for the moment. So please do not engage me in any photo taking stuffs. 2 reasons behind this. 1st will be that i will be busy because exams is coming near. For the 2nd and the main, will be that i am letting the camera down. The purpose of it will be taking pictures for God. Since God put the thoughts of it into me this evening. I am sure there is a reason behind it.  

Bored

March 20, 2008

Done nothing much this week except watching Rule #1 with Tow ming and Kai jing. Kai jing was the one who wanted to watch this show. But Tow ming did not wanted to want it so i have to come in and forced him to watch. If not, it will be very strange for me to go watch the show with his gf. Haha. Finally my prof comm presentation was over. I think i gave quite a good presentation. So one load off. One more E and S to go. Kim just asked if she could join me in watching the Spiderwich Chronicles. Of course i welcome that since no one said they wanted to watch. Come to think of it, i am not on very good term with her too. Oh well, as long as someone is joining me for the movie then that is good for me. Why cares so much.

Thoughts

March 17, 2008

These few days i have been thinking a lot in my mind. So much till the point that i cannot remember anything i have done the day before. Or maybe i am really getting old. Lost of memory.

What does the word ‘Love’ means? Many think that being a Christian means having a ton of rules to abide by. Is this what salvation is about? The answer will be a no. True salvation will only set one fully free. But it has to come with love. Salvation only of the mind without the heart will be lacking of love. A very classic example will be when a guy knows that his girlfriend does not like him doing some stuffs. He will not do that anymore because he will not want to break her heart and cause their relationship to come to an end. The answer is simple, because he loves her. Not only on his mind or mouth but from his heart.

As it is to them, christians are also the same. It is not the rules that tie us down. But the love for God so much so that we do not want to break His heart. In some, the changes from within will be immediate. Yet for others, it will take a period of time for the molding and changes to take place. In both cases, the changes will be from inside out. So there i am belonging to the second case, knowing there is so much more to loving God. The Holy Spirit will be there to guide, letting one know what is right and what is wrong.

Views from people will tend to bring one down. Because we are all so quick to judge and slow to forgive. Yet God is quick to forgive and slow to judge. I do acknowledge that what people think of me do affect me at times. Nevertheless, i will learn to look at who am i from the eyes of God. People can only see so much of yourself. They are not with you 24/7, only God does.

This is one of the reasons why so many of us are suffering from different personalities when we are in public and when we are alone. In front of others, we know that we need to live up to some kind of expectations that maybe it will not even be us at all. It is only when we are alone then we can take off the mask and really be who we are.

Ultimate

March 12, 2008

Just our luck to get such a project mate. Never come for meetings at the Last Minute and late submission of his part to me causing me to work OT. What a guy. Just one more presentation to go and that will be it. Please please be fast and get him out of my life.

After being a bit emo for a few days, i have come to the conclusion that whatever it is i will make a daily commitment.

Fall to FLY

March 11, 2008
On Winter Days The Snow Would Glisten Like A Sea Of Diamonds In The Sun
all Bundled Up In Hat And Mittens
i’d Be Out The Foor And On The Run
to The Meadow My Place
beneath Branches Of Icy Lace
arms Held Out Eyes Shut Closed
i’d Lean Back And Just Let Go

and I Would Fall To Fly
a Snow White Angel I’d Spread My Wings To The Sky
how I’d Glide

but Soon I Craved The City Lights
they Seemed Far Brighter Than The Moon On Snow
turned In My Wings For Earthly Things
forgot The Feel Of Clouds On Indigo
i Was Strong, I Was Proud
keeping Both Feet On The Ground
i Feared That Love Just Like I Feared Heights
i Just Didn’t Realise

and I Would Fall To Fly
a Snow White Angel I’d Spread My Wings To The Sky
how I’d Glide

’cause Now You’ve Come Along
like Falling Snow At Dawn
you Move Me
and With You By My Side
we’ll Soar
we Will Climb Straight To The Heaven’s Skies

yes I Can Fall To Fly
a Snow White Angel I’d Spread My Wings To The Sky
yes I Can Fall To Fly
’cause Now I’m Gonna Give Love A Try
fall To Fly

on Winer Days I Wait For Snow And Then I Know The Angel Flies Once More
fall To Fly, Fall To Fly

How irony this song is. Nevertheless there is great truth in it. If only you manage to see it. Maybe one day i will print out all my posts and bind them into a book.

Movie

March 11, 2008

I was supposed to catch a movie with Meini this evening but i changed it to thursday last minute cos i got lesson. This time i have mixed feeling of whether should i step into a relationship. I would say that my chance are high if i am to try for it. Somehow i feel i have reached a stage whereby i cannot feel love or hate anymore. My feelings to all things are neutral, it is like numb. It will be unfair to her in a way. There are too many considerations at the back of my mind. The worst thing that i ever want to do is to break her heart. In the past, when i came across such issues, i tended to be emotional. After so much lessons in life, this is the first time i am thinking in a logical manner. There are too many ‘what if’ that are holding me back. I can help alot of people solve their problems when they are in a relationship. For God’s sake, i cannot help myself on this issue of to start or not. God has always been on my mind when i think about issue such as this. For people who do not know God, they will not be able to understand my thinking and what i am going to do in the future. The only love that i still can feel in my heart is for God, it is the only thing that will bring me to tears. How can i expand this tiny spark that is left to those people out there? I really cannot feel a thing for them anymore. Somehow or rather i have accepted the fact that life is just like this. This heart of mine is fast turning into a heart of stone, if there is one part that is still beating then that will be for God and no one else.

Even if it is me, i too cannot accept the fact that how can a person has love for God yet none for others. But the very fact remains this way in me. Maybe my love is not deep enough. Maybe i am too self centered. Maybe i just want to protect myself from the hurts of loving people. Maybe and maybe …

A Happy Ending

March 7, 2008

Now will we see a happyever after. I do not know the answer but at least the 3 of them will have a brand new start. As for me, i earned myself a birthday and Christmas card every year from now on. Haha.