Archive for April, 2008

the ‘H’ word

April 29, 2008

What is it again? It’s a word starting with a H. Is it a kind of food? No. Is it an animal? No. Is it a place? No. Is it an event? Kind of. Oh it is Holiday. Wahaha. After so long, i finally have started my holidays. In fact, yesterday was the first day. I kicked start it by watching the movie ‘Superhero movie’. Typical lame type of show but it was fun. Meini and i both laughed all the way from the start till the end. Search for a few part time jobs. Will be going for interview this friday. Hopefully, i can get what i applied for and learn some stuffs. Time to take a well deserved 2 days break.

What a mixed up!!!

April 28, 2008

I knew something funny or bad was going to happen today when i woke up. Indeed, it happened. Luckily it was not that serious, just wasted 4 hours and $4plus. The first time of my life going to school on the wrong day. After going for so many exams, this is the first time this happen, though i often doubted myself back in secondary days whether the date of my exams were correct. But i was never wrong once except for today. The logical explanation for this mix up is that long before my exams started, i already form the impression that my last day was going to be a monday. And this impression was so strong that i never bothered to go and check when is the exact date of my last paper. Even though, i kept looking at my iphone and it showed tuesday. Yet it never did registered in my brain once.

In short, it just lead to this incident today. Oh well, it is better to be early than late. Just that i am 24 hours early. Thank God that i went in late and never confronted the gal who was sitting in my place or else i will be very ‘paiseh’.

So tomorrow shall be my last paper.

First Ever Concert

April 26, 2008

In the end, i went for Mayday’s concert today. Back to Earth. It is nice. I am glad that i go ahead with it. 3 whole hours of music. My satisfactory was 80%. It was the max for a concert like this. 100% will only be when God’s presense is there. It is like acting. No matter how good your acting skills is, you can never touch people 100% unless you experience before what you are suppose to act. The feeling that comes from deep within the soul cannot be fake. Only God can fill the remaining 20% that is within me. No matter how high the atmosphere is, it can only fill up this much. I guess that is the reason why some people need to keep going back to clubs, alcohols or drugs to maintain this ‘high’.

Just when i was on my way back, in my mind there was these 2 numbers, 44496** and 76080**. Some may know whose these 2 belong to. Yup, they belong to 2 women whom i was once deeply in love with. All these while, i tried to let go of the past. Yet, these 2 numbers remained etched deeply within my heart and soul. Time could not erase them away from me. Maybe they should just remained there as they were because i am a human after all. Memories will they be and it shall remain this way…

A message of love

April 25, 2008

After being exposed for so long to all those negative stuffs, i am in need of some messages of love. That is what i am getting right now. Messages of God’s love. To once again soften this heart of mine, to let it be in touched with my Creator once more.

I learnt that ‘No’ actually is a powerful word. Compare the 2 sentences. ‘No. I will continue fighting’ and ‘Yes. I will continue fighting’. By using No, you are asking yourself to forget those obstacles and failures that you have been through and that continue to inspire yourself with something positive. With the second sentence, you are just saying something positive twice. It does not change from negative to positive. Just my 2 cents here.

Another thing is that, there is not much different between us and those people who are dying of terminal illness like AIDS. Maybe the only different is their symptoms. Because we too will not be able to know when we are going to die. Death is a thing that will happen to all of us just that in their case, they may not live till the age that we expect to live to.

I am beginning to see death in a new light because of my new found hope. I know for sure that if i die one day, God will be with me Himself and i will just be going home. By living here on earth, it means i still got work unfinished.

I know and am aware of my past guilts, shames and failures. I am not afraid of admitting to them. For i know, God will take all of it as i lay them down on the altar. I have been carrying my past failures for too long and it has kept me down in the past. But i am not going to let them be a burden anymore. It’s time for me to say ‘Enough. I am going to live my life as the way God wants me to.’

Tomorrow will be May Day concert. I have been looking forward to it until today. Suddenly not in the moods to go for it. I shall see how when tomorrow comes. At most, i will pass the ticket to Kai Jing and let her go with Tow Ming, treat it as my gift to them. Haha. We shall see.

 

2 more

April 22, 2008

After the paper later, i will be left with 2 more papers to go. For HRM, i am still unsure of how to study for it. Shall take a look at the past years questions and try to catch the prof’s mind. For 3011, since it is open book then i shall study for it. Open book is always the hardest because it requires total understanding of the subject. Oh well. I may go and look for a job to do this coming vacation. Time to earn some money after spending $300 on a set of dvds. Hope they come soon then i can just watch them during my free time. Also wish that they will release seasons 5-9 soon. I wonder how much it will cause me again for 5-9. Hmm…

Stay Away

April 22, 2008

I cannot believe what i saw on this website. If anyone comes across churches like this, in my own personal views, better stay away.

We will go into further detail here by stating that all authority is granted to Pastor Deacon Fred Smith. This is in full accordance with Romans 13. If you are not familiar with Romans 13, well then we suggest you read it. A good ten or twelve readings of Leviticus wouldn’t hurt either. Our pastor sometimes uses his godly authority to invoke the Lord’s Law from the Bible in Leviticus. This is sometimes too much for some folks. If they refuse punishment, then they have the option of paying a $500.00 fine plus expenses accrued by the planning committee of Levitical Law Implementation. If you haven’t cracked a Bible in a few years.. then Landover is not for you.

The following violations will result in a monetary fine of no less than $200.00 as to be determined by Church Pastors and Elders: Failure to show up at church on time, Failure to attend a church service without written permission from a pastor or other agreed upon authority, Church parking lot violations, Single males or females caught in the houses of members of the opposite sex without proper supervision, out after curfew, failure to tithe, failure to perform Christian Service obligations, Use of a church key without proper permission, Sleeping and/or horseplay during church services, reading of ‘crime oriented’ comic books, possession of alcohol outside of Post Communion Party regulations, idol worship, inappropriate dress in town or in church, dress related to ‘counter-culture’ movement, beards are not allowed except with special permission from Pastor Smith himself, long earrings on women, use of tampons is strictly prohibited, men with earrings or jewelry of any kind, hugging, possession of pornographic material (except for widowed or single men over the age of 65), failure to identify oneself to a church authority, failure to answer a call slip, witchcraft, dancing and/or skipping, association with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Methodists, Unitarians, Episkypols, or any other occult activity (unless under supervision by Dr. J. Edwards), failure to conform to rules and regulations, failure to submit to authority, the questioning of church authority is not tolerated and may result in dismissal, failure to bring at least one new guest to church a week, failure to win at least one soul a week, disrespect, lying, stealing, cheating, plotting, failure to have a demon-possessed infant sterilized, attendance at non-Christian owned picture houses, and rock music. General Rules are subject to change at any time without notice. Members are expected to find out what the new rules are within two hours. Let us note here, ‘A Christian who is interested in doing their own thing, will not feel comfortable at Landover.. we would even go as far to question whether or not that individual is a Christian to begin with.

End of Season 1

April 20, 2008

The TV series that i have been catching is at the end of Season 1. I guess i have to wait till Season 2 starts. How long will it be? Anyway Eli Stone is a nice series to watch. One of those few which can keep me to my seat or without me fast forwarding it to the end. Haha. Got a crappy paper later. Basically is just bullshitting. A relative good GP knowledge will help you to pass that.

4 more to go

April 19, 2008

I think i did quite ok for my paper yesterday, taking into consideration that i only started studying on the morning of the paper without attending all the lectures expect for the 2nd one. Oh well, if i ever managed to get a B for this, then what does it mean? To me, it will be that some subjects that they are teaching in Uni are a waste of time. Like 2 more my modules that i am taking the papers next week, it is totally crappy. During the presentation of E&S, one of the prof could actuallyfell asleep. Come on man, does it show any respect to the student who put in effort to find the info andpresent. For one of mine, my tutor can even played with his hp. I was damn pissed off with this kind of behavior. Where is the basic respect? All those education that he had received are in vain. Education is supposed to make you a better person and not for you to warm the seat with your butt and waiting for money to come into your pocket. 

I really do not know what to do with all these. When i focus and look only at myself, think only for myself and care only for myself, all kinds of strange things can occur. When i do that, usually the outcome will be sin. That why they always said ‘Look upon the Father’. I hope i can really do that. Anyway i am totally frustrated with the system of this world. I wondered how can people live in a world like this? Is it this world or is it just me? Everywhere i turn my eyes to, i see the path of destruction laid down by mankind himself.

Depression

April 17, 2008

I took my maths exams today and to tell the truth i almost vomited out of my disgust for the subject or whatever reason. I am just a mere mortal. I hate to admit this fact but according to all the symptoms that i am showing. I have come to the conclusion that i am suffering from depression. At some points the thought of death seem to be an easy way out of all these. And who would have thought that someone who kills himself just to avoid some freaking papers. The fact still remains that i am devoid of any pleasure in life. Not taking the course that i am made for. I can just spent 3 hours on accounting and took the exams with a breeze without attending lectures or tutorials but cannot seem to do it for engine subjects. This is affecting me for way too long. I certainly hope that my depression is a mild one and it will be gone after the exams. If not, then if you know the reason when i die fromsome unnatural causes. The whole world does not understand me. No one, not even my family can i talk to them about my problem because they will not understand. All my father thinks about is when i will graduate. How will he ever accept the fact if i want to change course so badly. To die is gain. to live is Christ.

Forever

April 14, 2008

I’ll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I’ll sing
For You my Dad and King
I’ll live for all my days
To Put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It’ll be for eternity

And Oh how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
And You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the crossI’ll worship You my King
I’ll worship You my God
I love You
I love You
Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You
Be with You