Archive for October, 2008

Cloudy

October 30, 2008

These few weeks i must said that in my mind, the future looks bleak to me. Not really in the mood to pen down any of my thoughts. So much so much are in my mind now that it is saturated until i do not know what to write.

I am still trying to learn the word ‘Love’. How to overcome this logic driven, stone hearted self? To fully, truly understand LOVE itself.

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Pondering

October 25, 2008

Was busy these few days. Looking forward to finish this current assignment of mine. I am very grateful to Natalie for all her hardworks and efforts she put in. Hopefully this version will be alright and no more changes. Wondering whether sure i continue to be in the committee now. I can feel that events planning is not my cup of tea now that i have tried it. At least i can omit that out in the future.

Lately, i have been reflecting about my last 7 years. Which direction to take right now? Show me a path to walk, Father.

Grace of being Forgiven

October 19, 2008

Today i learnt a valuable lesson while on my way to school for my FYP. It is learning how to fully accept the grace of being forgiven. I did not realise that my self condemnation aspect is that strong that i find it hard to accept forgiveness.

But yes, today i sent out a sms to the person whom i did wrong to one year ago to accept that grace of forgiveness. So that this incident will not be a stronghold for the evil one in my life.

If a person is unable to forgive, then hated will be an opening in that person life. At the same time, if one who cannot learn how to be forgiven, then self condemnation will also be there. The most unique situtation is when both are at fault, then they must learn to forgive and being forgiven at the same time.

So what is new for me? Nothing. Just FYPing but not that intense right now. I just left it to my mentor to do the testing for this 2 weeks. I think it is good for me not to stay in hall, if not i will be the one doing the testing. Haha.

Here’s something for the day:

Most people will say that ‘It is better to be an unhappy rich man than a sad poor man’.

But what most did not know is that ‘It takes a lot to make that rich man happy but little is all it needs to brighten up the poor man’.

“Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)”

October 16, 2008

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing graceThe Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

 

 

Could I

October 14, 2008

Could i just sit here a while
Know that there’s nothing that i need to say
Safe in the knowledge that You know my ways
Love me completely, no need to hide a thing

Could i just stay here a while
Letting You melt away all of my fears
I feel Your comfort when You are so near
I’ll hide myself in this shelter You’ve made for me

Could I, Could I

Could i just kneel here a while
Doing what i was created to do
Bowing in reverence, i long to adore You
Willing giving all that i can surrender

Could i just rest here a while
Letting You whisper my burdens away
In all of my journeys there’s no other place
Where i find refuge, strength for my weary heart

Could I, Could I

Struggles

October 12, 2008

In life. there will always be struggles. Often people hope for a life that will be without it but it seems hardly possible at all. I do think struggles are a good thing because it shows that you care for something. This is why we often face struggles when we are making decisions that will affect our futures because we care for ourselves.

Like me, i do face struggles on sunday whether to have that extra hours of sleep or just wake up and go for service. At least, it tells me that i still love Him and sometimes i win sometimes i lose. At the end of the day, the last thing i want is for it to become a religion. I want to treat it like a special date. I do not want it to become a routine.

Father, i pray that we can cultivate this love together.

I have been slacking on my FYP for the past 2 weeks. It is kinda of stress to just keep going lab everyday without a break. Which means even that i cannot even look forward to weekends. Cos it will be the same as every other day. Surprisingly, my mentor helped me to carry out some work during this period of time. It is something that i am grateful and thankful for. People usually think we have 1 year for our FYP but in actual fact, we have only 6 to 7 months which can be quite tough if your FYP is time demanding like mine. This last lap is really a high stress period.

Blury

October 11, 2008

Was having a terrible headache for the whole day until i though i was going to faint anything while walking on the road. Should never hada drinking session when i have 2 consecutive meetings for today. I think i really did chose my team members wisely during my minor because we are still in contact after 1 year and also pushing for some business ideas. Even Delvin who has been offered a high paying job at the banking sector is pushing hard on working on some other stuffs other than a regular job. We all do see this fact that just having a regular job is not enough to survive in SG, one need to have more than others. If not, one will be on the losing end. So with that, i am now engaged with 2 different business groups. At the end of the day, i do see myself gaining experience out of all these ventures.

Hmm

October 10, 2008

Just came back from an outing with the rest of the guys, have not met up with them for quite long. It is quite nice to meet and chit chat. Haha. Whole day of meeting for tomorrow. Tired tired tired. Thanks for all the treats all these times.

One slacking week

October 4, 2008

It is my birthday week. Usually i will have a slight depression when it comes, so this year is also no exception. I will just have the usual questions over me, what have i done for the past year and etc…

I hope it will be over soon so i can start work again. I really did not know what i want to do in life. What is next for me?

But i am glad that Grace and Hongwei still remember their promises and sent me aka Mr Lonely a lovely birthday card. Got a few birthday greetings too and never forgetting to send one to Abel as we share the same birthday. Haha. This year one greeting was from korea and i appreciate it. Thanks.

After some soul searching, i know that there is still a strong competitive mode in me especially when it comes to games. For my studies, i know it is in me just that my self esteem is too low in this area so i just gave up on fighting.

One thing that i am very clear is that i want to:

“Love out of love because of LOVE”

Help me to reach this goal of my Father.