Archive for June, 2009

Mis-com

June 28, 2009

Quite tired to really update anything. Went to Denice’s wedding yesterday and met up with some of my old friends. First time attending a wedding at the Soka center. My heart was hurting and eyes were tearing when i saw them chanting their stuffs. It really hurts to see those people who decided not to choose God. Yet, they seems so sure of what they are doing but ….

I must say that Jennie has grown pretty over the years from a manly looking to a beautiful lady now. haha.

Evening time was meeting up with Jane, Noel and Elaine for dinner. Noel and Elaine both got a new car. But for Elaine’s case, i do not think she is happier now after she got a car. In fact, i think she is facing more decision making problems now. I think her main problem in life is her focus. She maybe focusing on the wrong thing.

Went down to her church again this morning and it was a good session too. Joined in for the street-E and i have to work harder because i do see some weaknesses on myself during it. Was fun joining in.

But due to a mis-com between me and her, we will not be watching Transformer 2 together. Feel a bit sad because of this mis-com and have to really talk over it. Otherwise everything should be ok, but i am at a standpoint of should i continue or not. Anyway not my main issue for now, can just put in off till do not know when. Got to know two twins this afternoon. Jacelyn and Jocelyn. Haha. Looks 90% similar, hard to tell apart at first glance.

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Visit

June 21, 2009

Went down to her church this morning for a visit. It was quite good except have to get used to the part of singing hymns. Time needed to get there from my house is not so bad. Will take around 1 hour 15 mins max. So can consider attending it for a while and see how God leads.

Movie

June 20, 2009

I was abit more quiet during the date today. Was not feeling too good about some stuffs but what to do. But it was still ok. At least i did shared with her my stuffs and everything about the past six months. I think we are still lacking in sharing of the more personal issues. Before we can take a step further, this has to be resolved. I am really learning on how to depend on God during this period. Like what Job said, The Lord gave and the Lord takes away.

Passing Thots

June 19, 2009

This afternoon, there was a passing thought of calling off tomorrow date with her. Haha. But luckily it was just a thought and i never did tell her that. The reason is secret.

Hope i can get the DXO HR job if not the Minstry of Manpower one will be good too. Prefer the MOM one, cos it is more interesting. Going for the interview next week and see how is it. Oh well, better not to get my hopes too high this time round.

No go

June 16, 2009

It is a no go for today for the trip to St John as Meini wants to mug for her diving quiz instead. The camera that i borrowed from Ric for the trip will go to waste but it is good for me in this way. Cos i am watching a movie this weekend so it is money for better usage. Haha.

E63

June 14, 2009

Finally i went back to ECF and took a look today. Was a bit sad because of all my memories there. Now the band is only 2 piece, in the past, it used to be at least a 4 pieces band. Not that it matters alot but … Daniel was soloing at the PA there which in the past was at least 2 people. Haiz. Still i did not feel that i will be back there because the calling was not there le.

Jane is not with Kelvin anymore which came to me as a surprise and Kelvin left. This is what i am worrying about. The greatest obstacle of going over to her church. In what capacity am i going there? I do not want to be like when i first stepped into ECF. That why i need a clear answer from God, is there where i am supposed to be next.

Went down to the PC show with Richard, i got myself a free E63 because i recontract my hp. It’s a good deal i think. Shall stop using my iphone for a while. Haha. Anyone wants to try using it. Can ask me about it. i may consider lending you my iphone to use.

Waiting

June 13, 2009

This week i am feeling really bad. Too many issues to worry about yet i can do nothing about it. I guess this is what it means to have faith and trust in Him to guide me out of it. Will my faith survive before i collapse? haha.

I too am having some doubts of our relationship, even if she is somewhat trying but the main issue will be time. I do not know when she will be ready or whether will it bloom for us? I do wish God will speak in a more direct way of either yes or no. I do not know if i can wait for years just as i waited for her in the past, but that was just passive waiting.

Sometime giving up seems to be the easy way out of it. No more waiting and worrying. I guess this week is really a week of fear for me. Haiz.

Camps…

June 9, 2009

There are so many church camps going on this week. She is away for one till end of this week. How i miss her but did not want to sms her. Haha. Alice is also having hers at malaysia, while my cell one will be this coming weekend. I am not involved in one. lol. When she asked me why i did not join my cell for the camp, i was at a loss of what to reply. For now, it is still now time for me to tell her about my situation. So i just her will share with her next time. Next week will be going to St John Island with Meini to see see and walk walk. I never been there before so not sure what is there but just go there and take a look. If it is good, maybe can go with her the next time round.

Seeking

June 6, 2009

Right now i am looking for a permanent church for me to change my membership too. The time has come for me to do it after a long time of healing. I have told her that i may visit her church but requested her not to look or speak to me when i am there. Because i do not want any feelings of mine for her to be added in as a factor. What i do want is to hear God’s voice of where He wants me to be in.

The reason was that during the children camp i saw a need in the church and felt something. But it is all up to Him.

Enjoying

June 5, 2009

Today was the same as the last two, helping out with the children’s camp. Have to set up a fake camp fire but it was nice still. Role play as an astronaut again. Haha. Honestly it was hot and stuffy inside it but i felt it was worth it. Cos the kids like it and they really do know me by the end of the camp. All glory be unto God.

I am glad that He used whatever talents that He had given me for this camp such as those that i have learnt from JY. I do know that He had given me alot but i disappointed Him in not using them for His glory lately.

I am happy that we are friends for now because i do see her putting efforts in trying to know more about me as i want to know more about her too. I have 3 goals for now.

Short term will be to find a church where i really can settle in. Hers will be a good choice but i need to pray about it. Will pray about this for 2 weeks and see what God tells me.

Mid term will be to find a job. Really consider joining DXO for now as a short term solution.

Long term will be my relationship between me and her. Need to pray for guidance and need God’s voice to tell us whether does He approves of us.

So please keep me in prayers for all these 3 goals. Thanks