Longest 24 hours of my life

This must be the longest 24 hours of my life while waiting for tomorrow to come. On thurs before meeting her for dinner, my spirit was downcast which i did not understand why. Now i can only said maybe it was due to this question which i have posed to her. Having the same downcast spirit for today, my heart feels like crying out yet God is withholding my tears. I feel the pain in my heart if i lose her but there is no sadness for my tears.

On my way to meet her yesterday, i wondered is it me or did God shown me two wonderful pictures, in front of me was a rainbow in the sky and behind me was a ray of golden light out of the darkness in the sky. I do not know what it means but it has been a long time since i last saw a rainbow. I am not sure if i was the only one who saw it because no one on the street seems to realise it at all.

Yesterday i did also wanted to tell her ‘I love you’ face to face. Somehow, God withheld me saying it. Too many signs which made me prepared for the worst. The biggest one was the job interview that i went this afternoon, i sent the application in donkey years ago and they got back to me only now. It is a big company and for the first time of my life i went to UOB plaza one at 50th level for the interview. This job will require me to spend 2 years of training in China first before coming back to Singapore on a management level. As much as i was feeling down and wanted not to attend the interview, God gave me the strength to go for it and i was confident after the interview itself. I did not prepared anything before it and i made the best self intro. Haha.

Little and little, signs have been put together in my mind which drive me to the conclusion that i may get from her tomorrow. Maybe i think too much again but i wonder is it me or God is speaking to me in a supernatural way?

Father, i come before You once again, giving thanks to You for the peace You have put in my heart. Yes, my spirit is heavy but it is peaceful because of Your presence with me. There are things which You will have called me to place on the altar for You and here am i doing it. Placing onto Your altar my relationship with her and pray Thy will be done. In the midst of all these, my heart, soul and lips shall praise Your holy name and Your wonderous works in my life.


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