What matters?

At the end, what really matters? What is it that i care for? Myself, others or God? I have strayed far away from Him, so far that i do not know how to face Him anymore. Practically i do not really care much during my stay here. How to speak of His grace and love? I have forgotten how to do that to the people here. I am not a good witness for Him.

What am i doing actually? It just feel so lonely and empty. Tons of words but still feel silent. Silent in my heart and everywhere else.

Took a short break with Eileen to Qingdao for 3 days. Should i say i am shocked to hear that salvation has come to her during these time we were out of contact. Not that i know her well beforehand but enough to know that she was a free thinker when i knew her. Come to think of it, we only spent less than one semester together on my MB102. And that is about it. Nevertheless i still warned her not to share a room and travel with alone with a guy next time round. Too dangerous for a lady even if she thinks she knows how to protect herself.

Father, am i still able to call You that?

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